It’s now Wednesday, 2 weeks after the Big Brothers Big Sisters National Conference.  I’m still sick,  my throat is still hurting, still coughing yet also still feeling very inspired by the all the amazing people we met in Miami.

I am a bit overwhelmed with all the work that lays ahead of us,  it seems endless.  I have also been reading The Toilet Paper Entrepreneur and Mike is giving us so many good ideas of how to steer our boat in the right direction and make sure that my mission in life is going to get accomplished.  I feel stronger than ever that The Friendship Stone is the perfect and at the same time, simple way to make sure that those people that are important around us, know that they are important to us.  I am committed, as ever to spreading our stones to all of the youth of America, and helping them stay connected to the Bigs in their life, and to always find the positive in their daily challenges. 

And I as look at my stones, they remind me the same thing.  My head is hurting,  so I took that as a message to go and lay down.  I am always trying to stay tuned to my body.  I have a body that does not like to be pushed to the limit, it likes to sleep and after I abused it,  it is screaming back at me.  The real trick is,  to not get the headache , in order to take it easy some times… Still learning how to be better in tune. 

p.s. 

The BigBrotherBigSister-TheFriendshipstone.com website will be live the beginning of the week......

Tags: BBBS | The Toilet Paper Entrepeneur | inspired by amazing people | Big Brothers Big Sisters

Wow, I am now in the airport on my way back to Israel after attending the Big Brothers Big Sisters of America's National Conference. What an experience! I am filled with awe of this incredible organization that truly changes peoples lives. We heard through out the three days of the conference many personal stories from Bigs and Littles about the relationships that inspired, empowered and enriched their lives. They each felt that the Big or Little played a pivotal role in who they are as people today. There was not a dry eye in the room, as we heard so many incredible stories. I felt so proud and honored to be partnering with such an amazing group of people that are doing exactly what I want to do, inspiring young people, helping them to change their perspective and reach for the stars.

It was so wonderful to meet all of the people that we have been working with on such a close basis over the past couple of months. There is no replacement to meeting face to face and building personal relationships.

It was on the one hand a bit frustrating that I actually lost my voice the first day of the conference. What was fun on the other hand, was standing back and watching my sister Jill, great friend Laure and mother, Marcia take over explaining time and again all about the mission of My Stone Company and the meaning behind the Friendship Stone.

Our two organizations stand for the same core values and after the past three days, as we learned in depth about Big Brothers Big Sisters of America and had the opportunity to meet agencies from all over the Country, we have been even more energized, if that was possible, to spread the word of the Friendship Stone and to help this incredible organization touch as many young Americans lives as possible with The Friendship Stone and its message of positive perspective and staying connected to the important people in our lives.

When I first developed The Friendship Stone, I immediately thought of partnering with Big Brothers and Big Sisters. What pride I feel today as I board my plane home to see that dream become a reality.

Tags: BBBS | Big Brothers Big Sisters | The Power of Two | empowering youth | friendship stone

My husband invited my mother and I to spend 11 days in Japan, just the two of us! We have not had two days alone together since I can remember. This was one of his 50^th birthday presents to me (and also to my mother for having me 50 years ago, this month). Being the thoughtful husband that he is, he understood that spending good quality time together with the people I love most in the world and making new memories, would be the best gift of all. He was right!

I allowed my mom to choose the location, and she wanted to go to Japan! I was thrilled. It was a real dream come true - both seeing Japan, since I had never been there before and spending time with my mom!

As we walked past the Meiji Shrine, in Tokyo, there was a group of five people, one girl and four guys, holding "FREE HUGS" signs. Well, not being one to pass up a hug, I decided to hug the girl. Boy, was she a great hugger! She was so cute. She was so sincere and hugged with so much intention that I decided this was a perfect opportunity to give her a Friendship Stone from my Spontaneous Giving Pack. (I always carry some with me for moments like these).

She loved it and now she has something tangible to remember me by on that special day. It was inspiring standing on the side watching how so many different people reacted in various ways to the idea of "FREE HUGS". Judging by the long line of people waiting for their "free hugs", it was a real success. Everyone was laughing and having a great time. One of the cutest moments was when a little boy about five years old came by and was trying to decide who he was going to get a hug from... A real tough decision, but in the end, he went for the woman, as I had done.

I had heard of the movement around the world for FREE HUGS and when I saw it in reality, it was so inspiring. My mom and I had a great day. It totally energized the soul seeing good feelings spreading from one person to the next.

If you are ever lucky enough to see people standing holding a sign offering free hugs, do not miss the opportunity. It is proof of how random acts of kindness like these manage to touch us and affect our lives.

Tags: Free Hugs | Meiji Shrine | spontaneous giving | friendship stone | random acts of kindness

Always look on the bright side of life...

On the Second day, we decided to go over to Railey Beach, this small little peninsula at the tip of Ao Nang Beach that is accessible only by long boat.  It was so much fun to sit on the beach and watch the sun set, and go looking at all the little sea creatures that get stuck in the rocks until the tide comes back up.  The tide goes out about 5 meters in this part of Thailand, an incredible thing to see.   Last time we saw a blow fish that got caught and he blew himself up until the water came back in and he was safe again.

On the Long Boat to Railey Beach	BFF's Smiling - Optimistic
High Tide	Laure Celebrating!
Coral at high tide	The walk way to Khao Sok

After this amazing day, we decided to head up North and visit the rain forest of Khao- Sok.  One of the most important parts of traveling is to go with the flow,  and even though some things do not always turn out just as you planned,  it does work out in the end.  So, on the morning that we were suppose to head up North, our driver did a "No Show" on us.  We just knew it would be Ok and started laughing at our predicament. 

 

My BFF's
The Rain Forest

 

 

 

 The Thai people are so nice, that it did not take very long for a couple of different taxi drivers to come over to us, (we were hanging on the road outside our hotel looking for our driver), and in no time at all, we had a new driver, he had a brand new van and also turned out to be our photographer to boot!  So, It, that is his name, is responsible for all the great shots of the three of us hanging in the Hot Springs, the Emerald Lake on the way up to the Rain Forest. 

 

Hot Springs with Best Friends	We had the greatest time!

 

 

 

 It's good we know how to stay positive and optimistic, no matter what!

And anyway, these are the things that are always good for a story. 

What a great way to spend the day with BBF'S!!

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An early birthday gift with my two best friends,  what more could one dream of?

My amazing Best Friend Forever, my husband, came up with the most original gift of all gifts.  Time to spend with my best friends in one of our favorites places to visit,  Thailand.   Both of these women, my sister and Laure, have been an integral part of my journey with The Friendship Stone. In fact, it is one of the best parts of the entire process, to be able to work on something so important to all fo us, with one common goal.  

Spending Time with My Best Friends

This trip was not about work however, it was about spending quality time with two of my favorite people in the whole world.  It was the first time in my life that I spent 8 days with these two women, with no children and no husbands around;  no interruptions.  I have been to Thailand many times and I was just so excited to share all of these amazing places with Jill and Laure.  Now they would understand about all the things I have experienced, and the thrill of doing it all together was amazing!  My only frustration was that it still was not enough time.  It seems like no matter how much time we spend together, there is always so much more to talk about. Now that is what you call a "best friend"!

 I've been best friends with my little sister forever, or at least as long as I can remember.  We shared a bedroom together until we were teenagers.  As I explain to my girls today, the fact that we slept in the same room together for so long helped to cement a relationship of a lifetime.  That always keeps them quiet when they start to ask for their own rooms.  I am a big believer that young siblings should share a bedroom.  Jill and I are also very similar in personalities and we were comfortable in each others circles.  Laure and I met on our first day at Art Center College of Design in Sept. '82.  She was a newlywed,  but I am quite certain that I spent more time with her than her supportive husband.  We were at school form 9 am until 10 every day, and most of those hours,  Laure and I were side by side.  There are some people that are your sister by birth,  and there are others, that become your sister, from so much love, respect and admiration between the two of you.  Laure is that kind of  sister.  Because of our work together  in My Stone Company, she has become close to both my sister Jill and my mother, who are both very involved in the company. So, this time together was a gift to all three of us. 

Best Birthday Gift A Girl Could Get

Before I tell you a bit about what we did,  I have to mention the incredible love and excitement I felt every time  I spoke to my husband.  I could hear in his voice how thrilled he was that the three of us were there, together, sharing this time.  We never could have done it with out the support from our amazing, giving  husbands,  all three of them.  Jill and I both still have small children at home, so our other halves had to take over big time. My husband had to come home early to do the car pooling, homework and bedtime.  His work did not stop,  it just got postponed till the kids were sleeping, and then he started again. He did such a great job, it was great for everyone all the way around,  in fact, I do not think my kids missed me too much, thanks to him and my mother in law putting in over time.  She also stepped up to the plate to do day time car pooling, reading with Gili, and homework with Shai. 

Jill's husband and his parents also came to the rescue to allow her the time to get away, and Laure's husband was extremely understanding to be willing to come home to an empty house after his long, cold work days.

Now, on to amazing Thailand!  Wow,  what can I say. The people of Thailand are just incredible.  It is the perfect vacation destination for pretty much everyone of every age.  There is a kindness and friendliness that you feel all around you there.  It seems as if everywhere you go there are smiling faces greeting you at every turn. "Sawadeekaaaaaaaa".   That means hello in Thai.  the two words that we managed to get down were this greeting, and "Kum Koon Kaa", "thank you" for a woman.  You add in the Namaste sign with your hands- two hands up, palm to palm, like in prayer,  which means greetings here, and your ready to go. 

Painting with the Girls!

We stayed at a hotel that my family goes back to time and time again, the Sheraton Krabi.  In fact, I had problems with my right foot, something that has been bothering me for the past 5 months or so.  Lilah, the sweetest woman that works at the kids club remembered I was limping the last time I was there in September.  I couldn't believe she remembered me, much less my leg. The three of us could not have been any happier than sitting there near the beach, hearing the waves braking near us, and painting our master pieces.  My husband could not believe that we preferred that over the beach, but we were in heaven.   In fact,  we painted twice.  Lilah and us became fast friends as the three of sat for hours painting our baticks.  It was just so great to give Lilah a Friendship Stone as we said good bye.

Giving Lilah The Friendship Stone	Getting the Best Hugs!

We spent a lot of time getting great massages.  Laure and Jill discovered what a Thai massage is, and we made a point of getting one every day.  At $7.50 USD  for an hour and a half, how could we not?  Then RaRa, the resident elephant would come out for a swim at 3, every day.  It just filled us up with joy to watch how this elephant had such a great time in the water! She would dunk herself totally into the water and then for those that wanted to, could ride her or help wash her off.  We have been going to the Sheraton for the past 5 years,  so it has been fun watching her grow up. The first time we met her,  she was not a lot taller than my son,  today,  she looks huge.

Rara in 2004 with the kids!
Rara 2009 with Jill

More to come....

Tags: gift for friends | Friendship | friendship gifts | the gift of friendship | thailand | rara

Valentine's Day -  Will You Be My Valentine?

I love the Holidays, especially the ones that just passed!  I think they were the best we have ever had. My son celebrated his Bar Mitzva on Dec. 20th and we had  friends and family from all over the world come and join us.  Wow it was such an experience to have so much love and joy in one room!

This got me to think of Valentine's Day that we are fast approaching (another one of my favorite holidays). I was thinking of what can you give to your special loved ones which is the ultimate Friendship gift? Of course, The Friendship Stone is the perfect unique gift, one that can be carried with the receiver at all times. 

What I love about The Friendship Stone is that it is the "Gift of Presence".  It reminds the person that you are always there for them. Valentine's Day is a fabulous day because one can,  make lasting memories with that special person in your life.  Of course, we would like to do it on an ongoing basis, but life always seems to be very hectic.  The best part of having Holidays is to help remind us that yes, I love someone special, and someone special loves me!

How can there be such a thing as "too many great holidays"? When you have an opportunity to celebrate love, friendship, and the people we in our lives - this is what it is all about. 

So go out there and have  a fantastic Valentine's Day, one to always remember!

Tags: Valentines Day Gift

I often think about gift giving, especially during Holiday Season.

I wonder what should I give this year, a year of great distress around the world.  There are so many people loosing their jobs, and their life savings.  Do we really NEED to go out there and spend a lot of money on holiday gifts, to show our love? Are our gifts going to be measured by what they cost? 

The Friendship Stone actually came into being in the summer of 2004 because of the reaction of a dear friend of mine when he received the stone from me.  This friend has anything he could possibly want, monetarily.  He connected so profoundly to its message and the beauty of these incredible stones radiating out to him, that I knew I had to spread this message out to the world. 

This became my life calling; to help everyone realize 24/7 that life is good.  Because these stones are so small, I knew they would be perfect to be carried around all the time. I wanted to "stone" everyone I could.

These stones empower me every time I look at them.   As the Holiday season draws closer, I wanted to share with you the immense beauty and power I feel every time I hold these unique stones in my hand. 

As the stones are traveling all over the globe this season, touching lives, I feel so blessed to be able to follow my dream and my lives mission. 

 Thank all of you for helping me turn this into a reality. 

Tags: holiday gifts | friendships | stones | holiday season | gift giving

My son is having his Bar Mitzvah this weekend, and we are receiving the ultimate Holiday gift.  Together with our friends and family living in Israel, we have 30 friends and family flying in to celebrate with us from all over the world!  He turned 13 a few months ago, but we were unable to celebrate then.  He has been studying very hard to learn all the things he needs to know (prayers, bible reading).   I put together a photo album for the occasion and my amazing husband had the fantastic idea to start with photos of his grandparents, and we even managed to put in pictures of their parents, so he will have a four generation tribute to his life.

It was so much fun reliving the past 13 years as I scanned thru all of the images trying to choose which ones to put in.  Of course, this was a project I should have started a year ago, I never did mange to go thru the 13 years of video.  I guess that will have to wait for his wedding!

I think the biggest tribute and gift we could possibly have this Holiday season, is to be joined by so many people that we love and care about.  I lost my Dad 14 years ago, but his best friend from childhood Elliot, will be there to stand in his place at my son's Bar Mitzvah. 

He will share with us stories of my Dad and his Bar Mitzvah.  How blessed we are to have him and his incredible wife join us for this amazing family event.  I hope that all of you out there will also be so blessed this Holiday Season, to share it with many loved ones and know that they are the greatest gift in life. 

Tags: Bar Mitzvah | Friendship | good friends | Holiday Gift | photo albums | family events | Ultimate Holiday Gift

Friendship Advice
Friends, for the good times and bad.

Recently one of our best friends had to be hospitalized.  He had been told he would need surgery, within the month for a heart problem. Their first reaction was not to tell anyone about what he was going thru, feeling like that until they know all the details,  why tell.  They did not even share the news with their families.  It would only worry everyone for no reason.  

As time went on however, he had got a  bacteria that was attacking different organs in his body.  It was a very scary thing, especially the first few days when no one understood the extent of the damage.  The big discussion was, to tell or not to tell.  
I know that they were torn what to do.  In the end, they realized that if you can not share the bad times with those close to you,  then the good times are not as fun either. I think they made the right choice in sharing with friends and their family the news and information of what was happening.
On the one hand,  it was lonely hanging out in the hospital all alone, and no even knew you were there.  On the other hand,  you did not want to come across as some one who needed empathy.  In the end,  they decided to send out an email to their closer friends, the ones that they see throughout the year at their parties, weddings and family affairs.  And of course, as soon as everyone knew what was happening, they wanted to be there to support him and his family. 

I've had many hospitalizations over the past 8 years, and several surgeries.  I personally always share my situation with those around me, because I know that hey want to know what is happening with me.  I have nothing to be embarrassed about-being sick, and I feel that only in sharing can we build closeness in our friendship. 

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Tiger's Eye Stones

Have you ever seen a Tiger's Eye stone?   I'll take a beautiful Tigers Eye stone any day over other gemstones.  The ones that I love the most have not been shaped, but are tumbled stone to stone.  In this way, there are never two stones alike.  If you see one that has not been tumbled long enough, it seems dull and unexciting This differs completely to one that is of high quality.  The only word I can use to describe it is WOW! They totally mesmerize me by the way they change all the time, depending on the how you hold them, especially in the light. 

I find myself looking at my stones over and over again, drawn to them like a spell.  I can look at them for days, months and years on end - never tiring. I  always discover something new in them. It was this obsession with the Tiger's Eye stones that brought me to start handing them out to all of my friends.  I had come to realize that so many of the things I have discovered and believe in, about my life, were all wrapped up into this little piece of stone - this small part of Mother Earth as the South Africans call it.

These are the things I discovered when looking into these little gifts from Mother Nature.

No two stones are alike. Like there are no two people the same, even identical twins have different personalities! I remember that each of my friendships are also unique and each one needs a different type of nurturing. 

Life is not about what happens to us, but rather how we respond to what happens.  Attitude! As a result of all of my life's challenges: Ulcerative Colitis, Infertility, having been blessed with Surrogate babies, many hospitalizations and numerous surgeries, I learned to find something positive in each and every one of those situations.  I KNOW that life is really about how we deal with what happens to us.  I appreciate every moment in my life and I never take anyone or anything for granted. The way that the Tigers Eye stone looks different as you turn it around became a perfect metaphor for this.

No one is perfect. That includes me. Every time I mess something up, either in my behavior towards someone, or if I do something wrong, it makes me learn something about myself and others. I use my mistakes as a great way to remind myself not to be hard on those around me that also make mistakes. It is a part of "human nature".  I work on myself to not judge those around me, to accept them as they are, and to focus on all of their positive attributes. When I look at these Tigers Eye stones, I am reminded of all of that beauty shining forth, even if it is not a "perfect" stone.  The imperfections are actually what make it perfect! This is the same way I look at my friends. No one is perfect but I focus on and see their beauty.

It is all about the giving. As I gave away my Tigers Eye Stones, I found that one of the things I love doing most is giving - and this is an intricate part of this stone.  The experience of giving the stone was another step of the giving in my friendships.  I think giving is the basis of all relationships.  Giving of oneself, of ones time, of ones "ear" and heart.  These are the highest forms of giving.  What meaning does life have, after all, if we do not have those to share our dreams, our good times and bad times with?  

True happiness is sharing!

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Holiday Time is Here - Keeping Connections Alive?

As the holidays draw near, I always think about all of my friends around the world.  I love opening up my mailbox and getting all the latest photos of my friends and their kids.  After all, only through our kids do we realize how time passes. After all, we don't change, do we?! 

I am really talking mostly about high school and college friends.  How will I contact them? Will I contact them?  There are a few years where the time goes by and for all of my good intentions, I still do not manage to stay in touch (my father always used to say, "The road to hell was paved with good intentions").  However, what I love most about the holidays is the reminder that another year has past and it is that time to connect or reconnect.  The holidays I love the best are those when I do actually manage to send an email, pick up the phone, or even succeed in sending a small "I'm thinking of you present".  I love these connections. They are great not as a pat on the shoulder, to say that "I did it", but simply for the feeling of connecting to so many different people that have entered my life at one point or another. It is exciting to hear about what they are now doing and how their kids are growing up, and even just to let them know that yes, I really am still here. 

I have very distinct memories of many of these high school and college friends. They played an important role in my life at various times.  When we do get to talk, it is as if time has stood still even though it amazes me to think how we have all aged so. We still laugh at the same things, talk in the same way and feel just as comfortable together now as we did then. 

I believe that the friendships one makes in high school or college are like no other.  We were all young, full of hopes, dreams and excitement.  The bonds were made because of the person we were, not because one made "x" amount of money, or some other superficial reason.  What you saw is what you got, and you never needed to think, "why is this person my friend"?  These people became my friends because we connected, we loved to laugh, cry, shop, gossip or study together. We went to football games, rode around in a car all night, went to McDonald's for lunch everyday, went out dancing every Friday night, and tasted our first Daiquiri together.  My friends were the ones I talked to about my first kiss, about the boy I had a crush on one week, or about the one I never wanted to see again.  They were the ones I told all of my dreams and fears to, and the ones I could be with, and didn't need to talk.  

Do you ever have moments when you hear that special song from yesteryear that takes you right back to that unique moment, 35 years ago?  Wow, what nostalgia can do to you.  Thinking back, I realize that I loved all of those moments in my life, that are now only memories, because of the people that made them with me.  Many of those moments that I cherish the most are the ones that were made with a good friend.  Fast forward the years, I must admit on the other hand that now one of the best things about having grown older is that I can actually say "We have been friends for 40 or 45 years!"  

It is odd when I think about it, because if I were to meet today some of these friends from high school or college, we very well might not be friends.  But I remain friends with them because I have learnt to accept them the way they are, and we our friendship still continues, hopefully forever. These are the friends I have known for over 40 years and I do not try and change them. As I make new friends, I try to incorporate that wisdom in all my relationships so in another 40 years, I can turn around and say, "We have been friends for over 40 years...."

It is so good to make memories together with a friend!!     

Tags: Holiday | holiday time | connections | high school | high school friends

At 49 years old, I have experienced many different kinds of friendships. There are those friends that I speak with daily weekly, monthly and even yearly.The friendships I love the most are the ones that when we do finally get to speak I never feel guilty even though so much time has passed since we last spoke. These friends arejustso happy to hear from me, or I from them. We havea great conversation as if no time had passed at all.

Each of my friendships are important to me and me to them. Sometimes, life gets busy and we can't always be 100% therefore someone, but that does not mean I need to let them out of my life. It means appreciating the times we are in touch and accepting that at this point in time, that is what we have. This is also about accepting what we can do at any given time. We just can not be everywhere, always.

Often life just gets really crazy, especially during the years when one's kids are small. I have three little ones (7, 9 and 13) and one young adult. I decided that if I choose some one to be my friend, then I want them in my life. If I find enough traits that I like within that person to make him or her my friend, then I will make what ever effort needs to ensure they stay in my life. Even if this means that I always invite them for dinner, or I always do the calling. Who cares? And it just does not matter.

What does this mean? I do not do "accounting" with my friends. This is not something that always comes naturally, in fact I need to work and remind myself that such things are unimportant life. So, I decided just to let go. Let it all go, a conscientious choice. Let go of the kind of stuff such as who calls whom, (even if it means I am always the one to do the calling). Life is too short. When we do things for our friends in a loving, giving way, we are the ones who benefit. I knowthe friend on the other end of the line loves talking to me as much as I love talking to them, so I really do not care who dials the phone. There are just some people who do not call, or at least do not call me... I made a choice not to take anything like that personally. I found that when I give up thinking thoughts such as "what did they do for me" or "what did they give me" or "what would they do in my situation", then the relationship is amazing! My focus is on my friend, and not on myself. YetI do it for me - the giving is for me, and I love it! I love being a giver.

If I had done "accounting", then some of the most amazing people I know, and some of my best friends would not be in my life today. They have enriched my life immeasurably, and I would have been the one to miss out.

So go on, please, fire your friendship accountant!

Tags: Friendship | Cathy Raff | good friends | gift of live | friendship stone | relationship | friendship accountant

My first born is 13 today!

13 years ago, my first born son was born.  I remember every minute like it was yesterday. His birth was a true miracle and blessing for us.  We had tried for three years, unsuccessfully, to get pregnant. After 10 IVF's on myself, I decided there is more than one way to reach our goal.  We were so fortunate that surrogacy was well developed and was the perfect solution for us.  We had embryos, but I guess my body understood better than I did, that it could not handle a pregnancy, so I just never got pregnant.

We met an amazing woman who carried our baby and 13 years ago today, we became parents.  The feeling is indescribable; especially after the long road we traveled on to make it happen. But what an amazing road it was!

The first incredible part of our journey started when we met our surrogate.  What an extraordinary woman.  She is a teacher for blind and handicapped children.  In her spare time, she would read for the blind.  She also had been a foster mother.  We were blessed to have such a woman carrying our first born. 

My husband and I had a great time during the entire process, fantastic quality together and good excuses to make a few trips back to the United States.

I even learned how to give myself shots, as there was no one to do it for me in the airport . We were incredibly lucky to get pregnant the first time, and 9 months later, 13 years ago today, my son was born. 

The journey to pregnancy, and having children was a challenge.  I realized that for us, getting pregnant was a like a race over hurdles.   There were many hurdles on the track that we had to get over, one at a time.  And until you reached the finish line, one could be knocked over at any time. 

The first hurdle to pass was taking the right amount of medicines to make the proper number of eggs to be fertilized.  Secondly, taking the eggs out at the right time, before ovulation. (This we learned the hard way).

Thirdly, having the eggs fertilize and develop into embryos. Fourthly, implanting them at the right time into our surrogate. Fifthly, waiting the 12 days to see if they implanted. 

After we reached that huge milestone for the first time, the 6 week marker was for the heartbeat.  From that point on, the pregnancy was like every pregnancy, with all of the possible outcomes. We are blessed to have met a new friend who helped us to bring our son into this world.  A woman gave of herself and gave us one of the most profound gifts you could ever give a person, a son.  For that, we will be forever thankful.  

My Dad was dying of lung cancer.  I remember the day we received my surrogate's information.  I couldn't wait to share this incredible news with him.  Sadly, he passed away two months after we met our surrogate, but at least he knew that the chances were quite good for us to become parents. My son was born 11 months after we lost my Dad, but he continues to live through our son.  I see my Dad in him daily, in my son's looks, in his behavior, in his love for others, and mostly in his love of life.  How blessed we are.

Tags: friendship stone | giving | Friendship | first born | Cathy Raff | surragate | surragacy | good friends | gift of live | relationship

I began The Friendship Stone only after experiencing such strong reactions to my own simple gesture of friendship. Over the past four years, I have given much thought to the concept of friendship - why it is important, and what makes a good one?

As I embarked on the journey of my life, I have stopped many times to think of the above questions. It all started when I was 18. I was actually given an amazing gift - a disease called Ulcerative Colitis...

I was diagnosed the first week into my studies at the University of Texas. Little did I know what the following three years had in store for me, but what I did come to realize, was, thanks to what was happening in my physical body, I was forced to think, really think what my life is about?

I call this a gift,because I realize that some people go through their lives and only towards the end do they start to think of their life. It is sad to reach a ripe old age and only then realize that one went through life without being aware of all the amazing people in it. There is so much beauty around us, and the simple pleasure of feeling good, having no pain, and even more importantly, wanting to really live each moment is a blessing.

I learned a lot about myself at an early age, and that helped me to appreciate each and every hour of every day I live.I had forgotten what life was like without pain, it was beyond my imagination. I had forgotten what it would feel like to have the energy to get up and want to go out to do something. I had forgotten what "desire"felt like. I could not remember a day without a nap, or a night without going to sleep by 9. I had forgotten what I looked like, as I had stopped looking at myself in the mirror - I no longer recognized myself. I was on large doses of cortisone, and had become extremely cushioned (a round full face from retention of fluids).

I was the same person inside, yet the world saw someone else. Were they responding to me, Cathy, the one on the inside, or the Cathy they saw on the outside? I gave this idea much consideration, both about me and when I met other people. I made (and still make) a great effort to ignore the outside, and see only the beauty radiating from within the person. And I almost always found (find) that inner beauty in them.

I came to the realization that this was just an existence and no way to live a life. My mother wanted me to quit universityto ease my stress although I felt that life without stress was no life. The answer was to start really living by learning how to I to deal with my stress and live asa healthy person.

My doctors told me that if I removed my large intestines, then I would be disease free and would feel great. I decided that it was time for me to start living again and so on my 21st birthday, I had a total colectomy (complete removal of the large intestines).

As soon as I woke up from the operation, I felt that I had been reborn.

This was my gift.

Tags: Friendship | Cathy Raff | good friends | gift of live | giving | friendship stone | Ulcerative Colitis | University of Texas | colectomy | friendships | conscientious choice | relationship